How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship

The Question:

My partner and I have been together for 2 years now and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together I feel that our relationship has changed. We hardly ever have sex, probably once a month is about all we manage to achieve.

I love sex and I’m sure that my partner does too, but for some reason we just can’t seem to make an effort to do the wild thing – one of us or both are always tired and sometimes it feels like we’re losing sexual compatibility; now it seems like I’ve had more passion in the past with other men or in the beginning of our relationship.

We do love each other and we’ve been through a lot together but I feel that our relationship is changing and I don’t know what to do about it.

We are becoming more like best friends everyday and I’m scared that the passion is fading. His idea of seduction and mine are totally different – he thinks ‘Let’s have sex?’ is an acceptable phrase into seducing a woman into hot sex, where as I would rather be pinned up against a wall without a word being said and so on…

When we weren’t living together our relationship was great; we did struggle a bit in the sex department but 3 times a week compared to once a month was a vast improvement.

Any advice you have considering this situation would be greatly appreciated. I don’t think I want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it – I don’t know what to do.

The Answer:

You might be surprised to learn that almost all long term relationships go through this ‘phase’ where everyone seems to get a little lazy. From my experience, it seems to happen somewhere between 18 months and 3 years into the relationship.

Here are some ideas that will help you make the best decision for you.

Does he know how you feel?

Open and honest communication is the most important component of any relationship.

Talk about it! Yes, with him, not with your girlfriends, not with anyone else. It’s absolutely amazing how many lovers simply don’t communicate openly and honestly with one another.

So many guys chat about their love live with their buddies, often as a way of bragging and showing off. And then they ask their guy friends if this or that sex idea would be ok. This is a bad idea for guys and girls. If you’re trying to figure out what sexual experiences to try out, talk with your lover not your buddies.

So, does he know that you crave hot spontaneous sex, or that you get excited by playing a little rough? Guess what, he might like that too! Or he might not, but you’ll never know if you don’t explore this topic together. And by the way, you’ll have a lot of fun and get a lot closer in the process.

Don’t hurt anyone’s feelings and check your ego at the door

It’s a strange thing, but sex partners often get their feelings hurt when one of them suggests trying something new, or doing something a little differently.

Get over it! The point of sex and intimacy is to enjoy each other and be happy together! Unless of course you’re focused solely on making babies – but that’s not the topic of this article…

Getting comfortable and killing your relationship

Complacency, also known as “getting comfortable” is the death knell of so many relationships, it may as well be a full blown epidemic. So many couples strive to “get comfortable”. What that means is they stop trying. And guess what… you stop trying, and your relationship dies. It’s that simple. The excitement and attraction dies, and your relationships becomes a project that you’re always fixing up. That’s no fun.

So how can you add that spice and excitement back into your relationship so that you’re not just lusting after those hot bodies at the gym?

Seduction as a game for lovers – the chase begins anew

The thrill of seduction doesn’t end when you get into a relationship. Why give up such a wonderful thing, even if you could?

Admit it, we enjoy the chase. I know I do and I’m at peace with it. And if you’re not chasing your lover, you’ll end up chasing someone else. We’re just wired that way. So let’s just accept that fact and use it to our advantage.

When was the last time you tried to seduce your partner? No, I’m not talking about coming home and saying “hey, let’s go have sex”. Blah! Boring!

I mean dressing up to look your best, wearing something sexy and feeling sexy.

Some of the best and most exciting sex is spontaneous sex, when you’re so wrapped up in the heat of the moment that you just can’t stop from ripping each other’s clothes off! Now that’s excitement. And doesn’t it sound more fun than “hey, let’s go have sex”?

Schedule hot sex dates

You go through the trouble of scheduling lunch and dinner appointments with just about everyone in your life. How about paying at least that much attention to your lover? Make time for that really steamy hot date, and plan accordingly. That way you’ll both be anticipating it all day, or all week.

Make a sex date box

Here’s a neat idea. Get together with your lover and each of you jot down a steamy date idea on a piece of paper and agree that each time you go on a hot steamy date, you’ll pick a card from your special sex date box.

Watch some erotic movies – together

Basic Instinct, Wild Orchid, 9 and 1/2 Weeks – it doesn’t have to be Playboy Porn, just something that gets you excited – trust me – he’ll get excited simply by you being excited.

Go out and buy some hot lingerie – together

What could be more exciting than shopping for hot lingerie together? By the time you’re done, you’ll be well in the mood for a hot sex date.

How about going to an adult toy store – together?

Maybe go visit an adult toy store together. Even if you don’t buy anything, you’re sure to have a lot of fun checking out all the merchandise.

Mix it up with some new sexual adventures

Doing the same old thing over and over again is bound to get boring. You wouldn’t watch the same TV show for the rest of your life, would you?

Try something different. Whether you’re up for a threesome or interested in the wild latex world of BDSM, the same idea applies.

Be open to new experiences. Venture out and keep it exciting.

In summary

Talk with your partner about sex. Really, make a date to sit down and go over it. Then resolve to always talk about it form then on.
Check your ego at the door. If your partner makes sex suggestions and you get defensive, then you’re missing the point completely. Get over it and put your partner first. You’ll be glad you did.
Don’t strive to get “comfortable” in a relationship. If you’re there, break out of it before you doom your relationship for good.
Bring the excitement of seduction and the chase back into your relationship – fast.
Actually schedule some hot sex dates with your partner. Really.
Keep it exciting with some new sexual adventures. Try new things. Open your mind and explore the entire world of sex possibilities.

How To Choose The Sexual Lubricant Right For You

Using sexual lubricants during sexual intercourse, masturbation and for use with sex toys enhances the experience for most people. The slippery texture of a lubricant adds to the sensual feel of almost any sexual encounter with a partner or when you are engaged in self-pleasure. It can also help those women who’s bodies don’t manufacture enough natural lubricant.

Studies of women that use sex toys report that women found using a lubricant with their favorite vibrator greatly enhanced the experience. With all the new male sex toys available today, the same increased pleasure can be enjoyed by men when adding a lube when using many sex toys. Lubrication makes toys glide sensually in, out and about. However, be sure to choose a lube that doesn’t damage you or your erotic sex toys.

It is very important to use the correct lubricant for the sexual activity and other sexual items involved. Certain lubricants disintegrate condoms, others will destroy sex toys, some work better for anal sex and others are preferred for masturbation.

There are four types of lubricants: Water-based, petroleum-based, those made from natural oils, and silicone-based. Each has its advantages and disadvantages.

Water-based Lubes: These are the most versatile, safe and popular lubricants for all situations. Typically made of de-ionized water, glycerin, and propylene glycol, they are safe to use with condoms and all forms of barrier birth control. It is rare that water-based lubricants cause irritation, and they don’t stain clothing. They are safe to ingest, and they come in both flavored and unflavored varieties–using one of the many flavors available can add to the pleasure of oral sex. They tend to dry out over extended periods, but a little water or saliva will get you slick again.

Petroleum-based lubes: These include Vaseline products, mineral oil products and baby oil. Unfortunately, these products all destroy latex, so they cannot be used with condoms, cervical caps or diaphragms. In addition, they can inflame and irritate the vagina. They also stain clothing. Petroleum-based lubes do tend to last well, so they are often used by men during masturbation.

Natural oil-based lubes: These are derived from natural oil sources such as nuts or vegetables. Like petroleum-based lubes, they too destroy latex (condoms, diaphragms and cervical caps) and stain clothing. However, they do have one key advantage over petroleum-based lubes: they don’t cause vaginal irritation. This makes them excellent for female [and male] masturbation, unprotected vaginal intercourse, and for massage.

Silicone-based lubes: These have the benefits of water-based lubricants with the addition of being waterproof, so they may be used in the bath, or the Jacuzzi, or… In addition, they tend to lubricate longer than water-based lubes. Silicone will not hurt latex, so they’re safe with condoms and other forms of barrier birth control; however, they can affect adult toys made from silicone.

So, pick a personal lubricant that’s compatible with your sexual activity and any birth control or sex toys you are using. There are many companies manufacturing each type of sexual lubricant, so if you don’t like the consistency, scent or other qualities of one lube you have plenty of other choices. Enjoy yourself!

Sexual Instructions to Rock Your Adult Online Dating Life

There is no better place upgrade your sex life from dulls-ville to daring then through the world of adult online dating. Think about it. This is your own fantasy playground where the sandbox is replaced by something on box springs and the toys get a lot more interesting. So what’s so special about online dating? Well, this is the place where you can find adults to be willing participants in some sexual instructions testing, trials, and homework.

Have you ever picked up a book on sexual health, sexual positions, how to give great oral sex or popped in your favorite porn? These are great resources to go to for some sexual instructions. But then comes the rub. Who can you practice with?

Some of the stuff may make you curious and horny, but then what also follows is a little bit of nervousness and insecurity. Can you pull it off, feeling all sexy and full of seduction?

Well guess what? You are never going to know until you give it a try. And there is no better way to practice than with a partner who has equal ambitions from an adult online dating site. If it goes badly, then just change your profile name and try again!

Just kidding about that. Have fun, release your inhibitions, and then maybe try a few of these sexual instructions for a great orgasmic adventure.

The Proper way to strip tease: Yes, you can strip it off and get him down on his knees in just a matter of moments with the right moves. It’s a good idea to practice a bit with this one. The biggest challenge is often to get the panties off without tripping. Be sure to strip with attitude. Strut by placing one foot directly in front of the other. And then take each piece of clothing off slowly and teasingly.

Give great oral sex: Women like this as much as men do. In fact many women may be able to orgasm only through a tongue in groove. And guys, it may take as long as 20 minutes so be sure that you are in a comfortable position. It’s all about the tongue and anticipation. Don’t dive in as if going for the target. Take a little bit of a journey, working your way down her body as you kiss and nibble from nipples to belly button to the Garden of Eden.

Don’t forget the pleasure of a great hand job: Remember when you started with sexual instruction in school. It most likely consisted of some kissing with tongue, and some groping. And it was wonderful. There is nothing adolescent about bringing back a great hand job with your adult online dating partner. This adds to the anticipation. Anticipation is the greatest ingredient for erotic, hot, steamy sex. There is just something naughty and nice about a hand down your pants.

New Adult Romance Ideas To Spark That Passion

If you are looking for a new way to tease your lover in a romantic way, it might be a good time to have a romantic night in. Brainstorming about adult romance ideas can be tough, but it also can be rewarding. Not able to come up with any romantic night ideas, or any bedroom romance possibilities? Try out some of the following new adult romance ideas to help bring passion into your life.

Drop some candies in a trail leading to the bedroom, with a note attached mentioning a super sweet treat waiting at the end of the candy trail. Add a little bit of whipped cream, some cherries, and you will have a romantic adult dessert that your lover will adore.

If you haven’t already, go on a shopping spree at a sex shop, and try out your new toys once you arrive at back at your home. Indulge in everything from sexy outfits, to videos, to new handbooks full of sex tips, to more unconventional and kinky toys.

For wild couples, why not attend a nudist event? The laid back atmosphere, along with the sight of your lover’s naked body all day long is sure to please you. For the most romantic atmospheres, make an effort to look for secluded beaches, deserts, and forests near you.

Did you know that it is scientifically proven that the smell of a partner’s sweat will turn you on? Join a gym for the healthiest kind of foreplay around. This might not sound like an adult romance idea, but after watching your beloved work out, you’ll beg to differ.

One longtime favorite adult romance idea of many couples is to play dress up for an exciting sexual escapade. Buy a sexy costume, and become your partner’s fantasy tonight!

Ever wonder what it feels like to be a model? Spice up your bedroom romance by having your own personal photo shoot. Take turns with your partner taking erotic photos of each other, and then admire them later.

The Japanese Yakuza came up with an erotic way to spice up a sushi dinner – by eating it off a beautiful woman. This is a great way to enjoy your lover’s beautiful body.

Overall, the key to a great adult romance idea is to combine fantasy with reality. Adding a twist to the daily humdrum is all you need to do in order to have a romantic night you won’t soon forget.

Say Goodbye to Boring Sex With Sex Toys for Lovers

They say that when you are in love, you look at the world through rose tinted glasses. You are always willing to do anything to make your partner happy. What can make your partner happier than a steamy session in bed, every single time? Sex is a very crucial part of a relationship. Good physical compatibility is an assured way to let your love blossom with every passing day. Wondering what you can do to make this happen? Have you heard of sex toys for lovers?

These toys are the sure shot road to ecstasy. Most people dismiss the idea of indulging in such toys by calling them kinky and cheap. The other myth related to these toys is that it makes the partners insensitive towards each other. On the contrary, sex toys are the best way of expressing your care and concern for your lover. These toys for lovers are designed for the mutual pleasure and satisfaction of both the partners.

Adults toys increase the level of imagination and creativity in a fun way. The introduction is fun no doubt, but it also helps in developing a comfort level between the partners. These toys are the best way to let your partner know what your needs in bed are and also to find out his. Lately, a lot of women are taking interest in these sex toys for lovers. Their male partners are more than happy with this decision of introducing a third party in bed that does only good to the relationship.

There is a whole range of such toys, which are out for grabs in the market. Dildos, vibrators, DVDs, whips, handcuffs, erotic games and bonding tapes; the list is endless. Different couples have different preferences. The toys, which they eventually end up buying, are in accordance with these preferences. No matter how basic or advanced the sex toy is, the sole purpose of using it should be sinful pleasure, both for you as well as your partner.

Women are always on the hunt for ways in which they can keep their partners interested in them. Once you bring sex toys for lovers into your bedroom, you will never have to worry about your man straying. Men are aroused by visuals. The look of their partner using a vibrator is bound to arouse them in a matter of seconds. With this kind of improved and innovative sex life, which man will want to think of another woman?

No wonder these toys can cause a revolution in your life. However, it is advised that the introduction of these toys should be done gradually and gracefully. If you are just about beginning to use sex toys for lovers, begin with a basic toy. This will allow you and your partner to get comfortable with the idea of using a toy, before you begin to build a collection of them.

Erotic Toys – Are Sex Toys Replacing Penises?

Gone are the days where you have to visit an adult store in person to purchase your erotic toys, which may have left you feeling a little embarrassed as you discreetly tried to satisfy your sexual desires. In fact, in today’s ever broadening cyber community, you are able to find a multitude of sex toys to fulfill your needs and suit your own personal tastes without having to personally discuss your needs with anyone, and you can do this discreetly from the comfort of your home.

In fact, one online store I visited had more than 150 different erotic toys for sale, and these were made of different materials, such as rubber, plastic and even glass, and they came in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors, and many actually looked like penises.

So, while it is true that the variety of erotic toys are numerous and that many are shaped to look like penises, does this mean that they are actually replacing penises?

According to medical studies and surveys, most women believe that a sex toy cannot replace penises because many women feel that, while erotic sex toys enhance their sexual pleasure and sex life, they are unable to replace the intimacy or emotional and physical connection that was generated during sexual intercourse. In fact, most women said that they liked the touch and feel of a man during sex above all else, and this was undoubtedly a factor that many men instantly warmed to.

However, according to these same medical studies, some men felt that the use of erotic toys during sex, with their partner, would make them feel as though they were inadequate as lovers, or, worse still, that their partner would eventually prefer using sex toys to penises and having sexual intercourse with them. This was an issue that sex experts felt needed to be discussed.

When asked about their thoughts on sex toys, most sex experts said that they recommend that all couples, regardless of sexual orientation, should have a least one sex toy in their drawer as these little wonders enable both partners to feel sexually fulfilled and to reach climax as well as add a little spice to the bedroom. As a matter of fact, most sex experts believed that the greatest killer of sexual intimacy for a couple was the lack of excitement or the risk of sex becoming all too familiar.

The Berman Center in Chicago recently conducted a study on Female Sexuality and found that, of the one in five women who use self-stimulation at least once a week, 60% of these women use a sexual device to reach climax.

But, before you rush out and buy sex toys and then introduce them in the bedroom, make sure that you discuss their introduction with your partner beforehand and that the both of you are comfortable with trying out and experimenting with erotic toys in the bedroom. Whipping out sex toys during sex may be very intimidating and result in you or your partner’s feeling being hurt.